For years, I've always heard stories about how I'm always isolating myself whenever I go through trauma. Based on everyone else's narrative, I took it and ran with it. And after years of therapy and countless ladies night sessions, and more trauma and more isolation- it finally hit me: my healing required MY time! Sometimes we get so caught up on trying to help others that we neglect ourselves 100x fold until it's too late. If I wanted real and long-lasting healing, I needed space and time! If you want to talk about "isolation", I separated myself from others who always enjoyed trauma dumping on me, but never provided the safe space for me to do the same. I isolated where it mattered most. And mind you, I made EVERY attempt to NOT isolate myself.
- I tried to go out after getting my heart broken- it only made me realize that I missed having someone to pull up on me when I got back from girls night.
- I went shopping and spent wayyy too much money and it left me in Credit Card Debt above my head- so much for retail therapy.
- I hosted game nights- they are always lit- but they just left me sad and annoyed that I couldn't have a night cap with Bae.
- I prayed about it, but God said He wanted me to have better- and chile I'm still waiting on that.
- I had countless mature closure conversations, and it only brought on more damage.
I could really keep going on and on but, HONEY, I'm tired. I find it interesting, though, how we live our lives based on the lens of others. Up until I had my epiphany, my lens was distorted- almost like those red and blue glasses we wore to watch 3D movies. My advice- take that flimsy papered lens off and see for yourself, WHO you really are. Pay attention to your intentions- are they pure or are you tapping into something much more manipulative than you thought? Observe your behaviors- are they bad habits or are you in survival mode? Asking the right questions are not just for dating others- make sure you're self-reflecting and asking yourself the right questions as well!
Healing is a journey, and it requires your assistance! Remember to stay open and keep glowing because you got this! 💙